Sonya Weiss

Where Happily Ever After Begins

Rejection Emergency Kit

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Rejection Isn't the End of the World

For a writer rejection is the dark matter that lives beneath the dark matter in the lowest level of hell. The sting of it burns into the soul and the nastier the rejection, the worse the burn.

If you’re a writer, it’s not a matter of if you get rejected, but when.

Three Things to do When Rejected:

EAT CHOCOLATE

I have a tin with a big red cross on the front of it and the words Chocolate Emergency Kit stamped across the top of it. It was once full of Dove chocolates because you know…Dove. You can eat one piece it and feel better.

I am not just making this up because I am addicted to– like chocolate. Not only does eating chocolate make you feel better after a rejection, it gives you a brain boost.

It’s true and backed by scientific proof. Just google it.

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Writing is not the same as publication and publication is not the same as writing. One is a creative endeavor from the heart. The other is a business endeavor. As a business, it’s subjective. If it wasn’t, every reader in the world would love every book ever published.

It could be that your perspective is wrong.

Editor’s perspective: I love the voice, but we just published a similar book.

We hear: Oh my God, I suck.

Editor’s perspective: The market isn’t strong right now for this type of story.

We hear: Oh my God, I suck.

Editor’s perspective: We don’t publish these types of stories.

We hear: Oh my God, I suck.

discouragement graphic

DON’T DOUBT YOUR WRITING

When we constantly hash and rehash why we were rejected, why they didn’t love those brilliant words dragged from the depths of our hearts and souls and give us that big fat advance and movie deal and legions of adoring fans…we become like the indecisive squirrel trying to cross the road. We end up flattening ourselves.

The why doesn’t hold any answers.

On the very day that you get a rejection, do this:

try again graphic

After a rejection, once you’ve eaten some chocolate and told all your writing friends how wrong the editor is, it’s time to get up, take the next step, and move on. Send your manuscript out again. The day you get rejected. Why? Because one person’s rejection can be another person’s yes.

Get back to writing. In the end, that’s all that you can control.

Fear

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Fear is often based in perception. It’s how we look at things, people, or events that haven’t even happened yet. We perceive there might be something to be afraid of so we are.

I fear spiders because I know they’re out to get me. That is their mission in life. They spring out at me like this:

Then I’m all

The feeling is real, but the basis of the perceived fear is not.

As writers, we often struggle with fear that’s based in perception. We feel it, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.

We all share at least three common fears that feel true. I’m going to list the top three and then the answers to solve those fears that comes from the collective wisdom of dozens of writers.

1. The fear of not having any talent.

Where does this fear come from?

It can be based on two things. Low self-esteem or not wanting to be vulnerable. When we write, it’s personal. It’s us. Our voice created out of life experiences and life can sometimes kick us in the butt and steal our lunch money.

So what’s the answer to fear rooted in low self-esteem or not wanting to be vulnerable?

Write anyway.

2. The fear of rejection.

What do you do if your family, friends or your weird coworker makes fun of you for writing?

Write anyway.

3. The fear that we’re not going to have the same success that Mr. or Mrs. Multi-Accomplished Writer found. This is the comparison game and no one wins this never-ending game. So don’t play it.

Write anyway.

Don’t let fear win. Your writing is much too important to the world for that. Someone out there needs what you have to say.

The Successful Failure

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As the old year slips quietly into the night, you take a look back at what you didn’t achieve. And from this viewpoint, holy smokes does it look an awful lot like…failure.

The 80,000 word count never materialized. The book sits unfinished.

You are an official Nanowrimo dropout.

You self-published a book and sold 3 copies. Your mom bought all three of them. Because no one else knew your book even existed.

The editor who was interested in your book changed publishing companies and you couldn’t break in there even with a crowbar.

You see what didn’t come to pass, what you couldn’t make happen despite the butt-busting days and even longer nights. Success in 2016 was as elusive as Big Foot riding a unicorn.

The You Can’t Fairy whispers in your ear that she told you to be more realistic. To stop dreaming so big. This fairy tells you to quit before you experience any more failures. She shakes her head, purses her lips, and tells you that something is obviously wrong with you if you didn’t find the success you were looking for.

She whispers that writing is just not for you. And besides, achieving success as an author is almost impossible, especially if you’re a new author. She feeds you all the gloom and doom statistics about the publishing world.

She might seem like a tiny, winged annoyance but she actually looks something like this:


Ignore her. Embrace failure. It means you made an effort at something you cared about.

Failure happens to everyone. You’re not all by your onesie there.

Failure prompts growth. There’s no greater teacher than experiencing failure. It forces you to improve, to learn new ways to reach your goals. It teaches perseverance, causing you to want to hold on to your dreams until they become reality.

Failure isn’t comfortable but…

So move forward into 2017 and fail successfully.